In these texts, A is the person whose Mercury is read and B the person whose Mars receives it.
Mars represents energy, action and the expression of anger. The system describes a way of expressing it according to the sign, and inventory 1 shapes what we consider acceptable or shameful when we get angry.
In some families people learn to raise their voices; in others, showing anger feels inappropriate. In either case we may try to justify our reaction by blaming our partner, instead of recognizing our own way of expressing it.
Facilitating contact
Conversation is full of enthusiasm. They can spend a long time talking without feeling tired and lose sight of the need to rest.
A stimulates B’s mental energy, and B drives A to carry out their plans.
Obstructing contact
B may take what A says, or the tone A uses, in an unfavorable way. B’s anger may appear on the spot or build up and explode later, depending on how B tends to react.
If the misunderstanding leads to a quarrel, it helps to go back to the beginning: what A said and how B understood it before the anger appeared.
Aspects of Mercury
Mercury represents communication: tone of voice, gestures and the way we link ideas. Its aspects are interpreted as an ease or a difficulty for what one person expresses to be received by the other.
With the person you love, talking can be a pleasure and a resource for getting through conflicts. When dialogue flows, it is easier to clarify what each of you imagines and to look for agreements.
When it fills with misunderstandings, resentment and wariness can build up. Some couples show this in frequent arguments; others, through distance and coldness.
The images each person forms of the other can be triggered by any new discomfort. Phrases like “you always yell at me,” “you never listen to me” or “here you go again with the same old nagging” show how a conversation today can be cut through by many earlier ones.
Becoming aware of our interpretations helps us distinguish what happened from the story we build around it. That review does not mean assuming all discomfort is imaginary: there are also words, tones and behaviors that need to change.
Inventory 1 has an important place. In each culture and each family we learn different ways of expressing ourselves. In some settings people speak more loudly, gesture broadly or use words that, in another context, may be offensive. That is why, alongside what the system attributes to Mercury, we need to look at what was learned.
Some gestures also evoke painful childhood experiences. When that happens, we may be responding both to the present situation and to the pain it reminds us of. That personal history also plays a part in the clash.
A tone of voice doesn’t always carry the intention we attribute to it. If something your partner says leaves you in doubt, you can ask them why they spoke that way or what they meant. The answer may reveal an intention different from the one you imagined. It gives you information you don’t have as long as you only assume.
Moreover, in the same synastry Mercury may form a facilitating aspect with one planet and an obstructing one with another. It is worth finding both: where is it easy to understand each other, and in which conversations do the automatic reactions appear that make meeting difficult?