Position in the group
Choosing a plan with the person you love can be part of the pleasure of being together. Other times, the decision drags on: both of you want to lead, or each is waiting for the other to choose. Look at what you do with your partner’s proposal and how they respond to yours: that shows the place each of you takes in the agreement.
In a group, a person may try to lead, show a willingness to negotiate or hold firmly to their own judgment. In this astrological system, that way of taking part, and the place each person tends to occupy, is called the position in the group.
A person may have very clear preferences when they are alone and react differently in a group. The presence of others influences their decisions, their attitudes and the way they express what they want. That difference also appears in a couple, where every decision brings two wills into relation.
The three modes of positioning
Leadership
The person adopts gestures, attitudes and ways of communicating aimed at leading the group. They want the others to follow their ideas and help bring about what they wish.
The people around them perceive that intention to lead, even though it is not always expressed through direct orders. It can show itself through firmness, affection, persuasion or strategy.
Self-motivation
The person seeks to preserve their individuality. Instead of falling in line right away with the leader, they keep their own way of feeling and acting, which others sometimes find hard to know.
Taking part does not mean they give up their own judgment. They can be inside the group and, at the same time, keep considerable independence from its decisions.
Adaptability
The person shows a willingness to negotiate and be flexible. They may feel comfortable when a firm will gives direction to their actions, and changing position does not always feel like a sacrifice.
Their ease in adjusting to different situations can help the meeting of two people. They also need to notice when that flexibility lets them collaborate and when it takes them away from what they want.
To calculate this measurement, the same weighted values used for mobility and motivations are kept, and the points are grouped according to the three modes.
Position in the couple relationship
Think of a decision you made with your partner. Look at both the proposal and the response: who tried to lead, who defended their own judgment and who adapted. These modes come into play in small choices and also in the agreements through which you shape the relationship.
Shaping the relationship
Choosing a table may seem like a small detail, but it gives you a close-at-hand chance to see whether both of you have a voice. That same attention matters when deciding how you want to spend your time, whether you wish to share a home or what commitments you will take on.
Each couple can give those agreements a shape of its own. Knowing how you propose, listen or give way helps you talk about what you want with the person you love. The aim is for there to be room for what both of you want to live and for the joy of sharing it.