Venus in Virgo loves somewhere between feeling and analysis. In this system it is an afflicted position: what they feel clashes with Virgo’s tendency toward analysis and reason.
That tension can be explored together with experiences of emotional distance in childhood or with the feeling of not having had a place between two very close parents. Venus in Aries puts the accent on clinging to the loved one; here distancing appears as a way to avoid pain. Personal history will show whether this reading is relevant.
When a relationship begins, they may fear that affection will vanish or that rejection will come. At times they cover that insecurity with coldness toward caresses or with a constant search for flaws in the other person. Finding an objection then becomes a way of not getting too involved.
They may also alternate between moving closer and pulling back. One day they give themselves, make plans and seem to move quickly; the next they pull back and say they need time. That swing expresses the conflict between the desire to love and the fear of being hurt.
Friendship opens a path to trust. When the bond grows without their feeling examined or rushed, their defenses have more room to ease and a capacity for deep affection appears.
Once committed, the person needs the relationship to stay interesting and close. They usually respond well to their partner’s affectionate initiatives, but may remain passive when the bond cools. Responding to affection and taking the initiative are different ways of taking part; enthusiasm needs both people’s contribution.