Imagine a weekend when you want to head out early and your partner is hoping to rest at home. The difference amounts to two plans. Even so, it can end up turning into a question about love: if they loved me, wouldn’t they want to come along?
The one who wants to go out feels pushed aside. The one who needs to rest feels they are always being asked for something more. The reproaches appear: “You never like going out,” “You’re always rushing around,” “You’re boring.” Little by little, a difference in pace becomes a judgment about the person beside us.
I want to pause on that moment: when we stop asking what is happening with the person we love because we believe we already know what their behavior means. That is where many of the misunderstandings this reading explores begin.
I also want to pause on what brings us closer: the pleasure of being together, the wish to make a conversation last, intimacy, and the joy of sharing something we enjoy. Recognizing those experiences helps us give them a place in the relationship, even when difficulties appear.
This reading is about romantic love: the person you are when you love, the person you meet, and the bond the two of you create. Astrology accompanies that exploration. Here we bring it into conversation with your history, your expectations, and the decisions that shape your love life.
The real person and the partner we imagine
Sometimes we fall in love with a trait we later want to correct. We are drawn to how easily someone talks with people, but later it bothers us that they talk with everyone. We admire their independence and then wish they were always available. The person still has something of what we liked; what has changed is the place we give it in our life.
In romantic movies, two people overcome their difficulties and stay together “till death do them part.” Crises are resolved over dinners, cakes, love songs, and full-moon nights. The happy ending arrives just as the part those stories rarely show begins: everyday life.
Living it, we may feel that the “perfect partner” has blurred. We even wonder whether an alien lives inside the other person, or inside ourselves. What unites us? What separates us? Why do we keep running into a familiar difficulty? What are we expecting love to resolve on its own?
In my consultations I have seen how much weight the image each person holds of a relationship carries. Sometimes we ask the other person to fit that image without stopping to get to know them. Other times we look to our partner for something we feel we lacked, and hope their presence will heal a wound that comes from far back.
That longing can lead us to begin a new relationship, to hold on to one that makes us suffer, or to think it is better to stay on our own. The question about a partner ends up also being a question about our own history.
I suggest looking at that history together with the birth chart. The astrological system I work with describes the signs, planetary positions, and how they meet between two people. What we learned in our family, our childhood experiences, and our emotional expectations supply another part of the explanation.
I call that history and the lessons that come with it “inventory 1,” and the characteristics the system interprets from the birth chart “inventory 2.”
I have met couples whose charts seemed to offer great possibilities and who, even so, did not develop them. What we do with an affinity, how we handle a difference, and which agreements we keep are also part of the life we share.
My intention is for you to recognize what you and your partner bring to the bond and to tell it apart from what you expected to find. As you get to know each other better, you will both have more to draw on when you talk about the love you want to live and what each of you is willing to build.
The way of loving you choose
In the traditional model of a couple, many commitments were taken for granted. Dating seemed to lead toward living together or marriage. It was assumed that both people understood faithfulness and the promise to stay together in the same way.
In many settings monogamy was taken for granted, even when infidelity happened. In Colombia, my country, people spoke of “having a slip,” an expression that named what had happened without openly questioning the model. The promise of a lifelong union could feel like a sentence: one or both people gave up whatever it took to keep it.
In love life there are also open relationships, multiple bonds, “friends who are more than friends,” “friends with benefits,” and couples who keep separate homes. Each of these forms can mean different things to the people involved in it. The chosen name leaves questions open: what they share, what they expect, which limits they recognize, and which commitments they want to take on.
You may find your way of loving in a traditional couple or in other arrangements. Here we talk about romantic bonds without assuming your partner’s gender, exclusivity, living together, marriage, or the wish to have children. Each of those matters needs its own conversation.
Being faithful to an agreement requires that the people involved know it and accept it. An agreed open relationship and a broken commitment are different situations.
When we compare charts, we look at the meeting between two people at a time. If your love life includes other bonds, that reading will need to be placed within the agreements that connect them. The charts of two people leave open the questions about how the whole is organized.
I hear worries like “I don’t know what I am to them,” “They introduce me as a friend and I feel we’re something more,” or “I don’t want to pressure them.” Behind them there is usually a conversation that has been put off. The person hopes the bond will go in the direction they want, but their partner may not even know what they are waiting for.
In consultations I recommend asking clearly: what the other person feels, how they understand the relationship, and what commitment they want to take on. Hearing the answer can hurt. It also lets us know whether there is a shared project or whether we are staying on in the hope of a change nobody has agreed to.
When the wishes are different and there is no willingness to bring them closer, separating may be a necessary decision. When there is a commitment and the relationship is deteriorating, we need to look at our own part: how we speak, how we listen, and what we do with what bothers us. The work that belongs to the other person remains in their hands.
I have seen that paying attention to our own part opens a process of self-discovery. We recognize wishes, resources, and limits we did not see before. From there we can decide more clearly whether we want to stay in the relationship and in what way, or whether the time has come to step away.
That is what I mean by a conscious relationship. Respect, trust, autonomy, and mutual support need to find expression in whatever way of being together you choose. A living relationship needs attention while the people who form it are changing too.
My starting point
I work with the system developed by the Peruvian astrologer Germán Rosas, as I explained in my first book, Astro pedagogía: hijos de un nuevo milenio. The interpretations in Love Takes Shape start from that approach and from the way I have incorporated it into my practice. Here I apply it to the meeting of lovers and to the questions that arise in building a romantic relationship.
I share the teachings I received directly from Germán Rosas over more than twenty years, along with my own research and more than thirty years of experience in personal and family consultations and in teaching. Also part of this path are my own personal processes in Gestalt therapy, the experiences I lived at Oneness University in India, my training as a trainer at that institution, and my training as an ontological coach.
Some descriptions will feel familiar, and in others you will not recognize your partner. When that happens, come back to the person in front of you and to what you live together. A description makes sense when it helps you look more closely; it loses its use when it becomes a demand that someone fit it.
My invitation is to get to know what brings you closer, give your differences a place, and take part in the love you want to live. Each topic offers one view of that meeting. Their meaning appears when you bring them together and return to the concrete relationship you and your partner are building.